I’m not entirely sure of why I’m writing this post, and I’m not sure if anyone should be interested to read it, so.. well, you’ve been warned.
I have a dream, I always did: I want to relocate. And I want my destination to be USA or Canada. Is it that difficult? Sure, it is.
I have a job in Italy, one that fits me, and that pays the bills. I bought the car of my dreams a few years ago, I bought a house that I love, and I found a girl that I love more than anything. Doesn’t sound that bad, right? I know I was lucky enough to get all of this, but I’m really not happy with what I achieved so far. I get little-to-no personal satisfaction from my everyday life, and I think I can see how that comes to be: I managed to get many things that I wanted in my life, but not the most important.. I just don’t belong here.
This is something I’ve always had in my mind, and I’m not sure why I’m thinking about this right now, but the feeling got stronger and stronger lately. Possibly because I started to see a few chances that might actually make my dream come true. So what’s the problem, you may ask.
The problem is that I’m SCARED. I’m scared to fly for that long (planes make me REALLY feel sick, and I never was on a flight longer than a couple hours), I’m scared of all the things I’d be leaving behind me, I’m scared that I won’t be up to the task as far as work go, and I’m scared by the fact that my spoken English is awful.
Really, how am I going to survive in an English speaking country when I know I would strive to survive in the most common situations? I can write and read English pretty good for an Italian, everyone always says that to me, but speaking it’s a whole different matter. As much as it can sound crazy, sometimes I fear that I will never get the hang of it.
Then I see pics and videos of USA and Canada, of the ocean, the beach, the sunsets. I take a look at work opportunities, I compare quality of work and achievements of the same businesses in America and Italy, and my dream stays alive..
There we go, I don’t know if I really made a point here but I’m glad that I put this down. I don’t expect hundreds of comments, I don’t even expect one. But I’m glad that I did this, for myself. If anything, it will help me think that if I never give it a try, I will look back at this post at some point, and feel like an idiot for not having the courage to pursue the life I wanted.